Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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