Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
