Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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