found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
