She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
