spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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