Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
