You're completely useless in the revolution.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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