Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
