420 ftw
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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