You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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