She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
