were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
