if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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