Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My bed smells like the plague
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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