I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
