I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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