Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
