can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Randomize
