Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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