During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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