You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
