she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
