this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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