is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
