come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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