So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
