if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Less talking, more tequila
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just blew my weed a kiss
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
