sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
