There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
