I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
