Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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