I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize