They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
