you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
