Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
