Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
