dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
