I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
