im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
