Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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