i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
