At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Of course I have a pirate flag
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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