So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
