If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
smell my finger.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
