i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
