Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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