I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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