well you can't waste a boner
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
