She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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